How do I even begin this post?
Last weekend, we celebrated our second year wedding anniversary. Two years! Wow, that went by swiftly.
Just to let you in a little back story, everything wasn’t planned. Sure, we wanted to get married but not as fast or immediate as we expected. When Lucas came along, we just jumped in! We both know we’ll be ending up together one way or another. It just happened that the bundle of joy came first.
These past two years weren’t easy. We had our fair share of fights, misunderstandings, kulitans, embarrassing and yet funny moments. It was two years of learning from one another and battling it together.
I am no expert in love or even in marriage. Heck! I am not even close to those who achieved #couplegoals already. I bet the people who have been married a long time will say that too (or maybe I am just assuming). All I know is that you’ll never know when you’re ready to take on an expanded role.
How corporate, right? Expanded role. Parang promotion lang! Haha! Kidding aside, marriage isn’t a walk in a park and takes two to tango. You need to learn and accept the other, knowing your limits in terms of what is right and wrong. You need to have that compromise. No experience can prepare you for such. Add a baby in the mix and it is a whole new different ball game.
So, maybe you are wondering why I am writing this? I am too! Maybe, I am just running on a caffeine high. Or I just really want to sum up the past two years. Do note that all marriages are different. Every experience/situation is different. This will all depend on the dynamics, personality, etc. So please don’t think this is a one size fits all type of post.
LISTEN AND COMMUNICATE. VERY IMPORTANT.
Marriage is not a me, me, me show. In our relationship, I want to believe that I am the more outspoken one between the two of us. There are times in the heat of an
argument, I forget that I do need to hear his side too. This is why I always keep that in mind to ask him if he’s ok, what he feels, etc. And oh, I do force him to tell me what is on his mind. You may think that he’s so open because we’re married but he tends to be reserved at times too. He thinks I will get hurt with what he will say. There are times that it does hurt because it is the truth. These are things that I have to take. It gives me a better understanding of why we have opposing views or why he is ok or not with things.
Both of us are working in retail which is a demanding industry (not as demanding as FMCG, etc maybe) and we get caught in the routine. We prep in the morning, travel to work, work, work, work, go home, eat and sleep. He gets off sometimes late from work and will find me asleep or when he has his day off, I am have work. Even as early as now, I feel like we are not in the honeymoon stage anymore. We are so caught up with all the other things and making ends meet that we forget we need time for ourselves. So yes, I do ask him out on a date. I am the one who schedules it most of the time. It doesn’t really have to be fancy. Sometimes, we just go out for tea run or have a date night at home, watching Bad Moms (laughing out loud in the process) while the Burrito is asleep (true story!).
I just want things done. I am a result-oriented person. And I am guilty for being a naggy wife. Dear Lord, help me not to be. I keep telling my husband things over and over and over again (tbh, I get tired myself too). I needed action on things, solve what needs to be solved, etc. I remember when I told him to clean the telephone area (which I don’t want to touch since I might throw out important documents), it took me weeks of reminding. Then, I just came home one day and boom! It’s clean. Hallelujiah! So yeah, sometimes it takes time for him to act on it and I have to constantly remind him. Stop judging me, I don’t tell him everyday. I remind him once in a while (with that, I mean a gentle reminder once a week) so as not to forget. There are times though that he acts immediately when I say so.
I am reminded that not everything will go my or his way. There are times that I would want something but I would have to wait or that we need to pick one over the other since it would benefit the whole family. There are also times that you need to think about the whole picture. There are sacrifices for the whole thing to work. Something’s gotta give. I am thankful that we both do that since Lucas is our top priority in every decision that we make.
NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
I am the person who doesn’t want to go to bed angry. I make sure that before going to bed, we sort things out. Going to sleep angry makes waking up in the morning heavy. I tell him what’s on my mind and apologize for how I acted. It doesn’t have to be because he was right or wrong. I just do. I do this after I breathe and let my emotions subside. We talk things out and our resolve is that we are a team and that we are in this together. I am actually lucky that my husband is so patient and bears with me when things happen.
Whew! I think that was a lot for two years and forever to go. So to Mr. Santillan, once again, happy anniversary! I didn’t have that lengthy post last week since we were busy spending time with Lucas but here you go. I am thankful for you. I love you from the moon and back or maybe till the next galaxy/dimension and back! XO.