A Birthing Story

Sharing with you a post a did after giving birth.

I’m back from being pregnant and giving birth. My experience was different from how I imagined it to be. I was aiming for a normal spontaneous delivery. When I went to my OB, I was already 1cm dilated. I got mixed emotion. It was scary and at the same time excited. My OB told me I wasn’t really due yet. I have to wait for the 37th week. I never got to that point.

Tuesday, May 6, the unfortunate happened. During the past two weeks before delivering my blood pressure shot up to 130 over 90 from my usual 90 over 60. I was given medicine to control my blood pressure. But this wasn’t enough, the pressure was too much to bear. My head hurts, it was pounding like there was no tomorrow. That morning, I was up due to headaches. I told my husband about this. He was telling me if I am ok. I keep telling him that it was no biggie. I even told my mom it was nothing. I bid them off to work. Come around 10 AM, it was too much too bear, I know I have to go to the hospital already. I tried calling my husband but I can’t. I lost my eyesight. I asked my aunt to call my husband and took charge of telling my aunt what to bring for the baby since the bag wasn’t complete yet.

And as I laid back into bed before taking a bath, I never knew what happened next. I woke up choking, asking nurses to remove the tube from my throat. I felt a bit like dying Turns out I was in the recovery room already. A few more minutes I was transferred to our room. That was the only time I found out what really happened. I had my seizures and was at the brink of life and death. I had eclampsia. I should thank my aunt for bringing me in time to the hospital.

Lucas on the other hand turned out to be two weeks premature and was in an incubator. To be honest, I wanted to cry right there and then but I was too numb to even feel my body since I was under general anesthesia.

The next following hours and days were torture. It felt like my body isn’t my body and that I was a different person altogether. I am just thankful that my husband was beside me. He is also taking care of Lucas. But I also felt the fear in his heart with the probability of losing either one of us. For me, it was like a dream that I know there is no waking up to.

I was able to see Lucas just the day after my operation but in photos. I cried a bit but nothing was more precious to me was seeing him the first time on my 3rd or 4th day.

image-1 (3)
Here he is the first time I saw him.
The moment I saw him, I wanted to wail but I prevented myself. I just watched him through the glass and tried to touch him. Such fragile thing. In my head, I just knew that it was only the beginning.

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